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Post by Dani on Apr 16, 2018 20:57:18 GMT
But here's the difference, Iris actually asked about his opinion. And he said what he thought. There's nothing wrong with that. I asked people if I should cut my hair or keep it long. Some said cut it, suits you sooo much better. Some said, keep it, I like long better, short hair is ugly. It's all personal. And someone's opinion about short hair being ugly is their opinion and has nothing to do with me, nor should I take it personally. What I do in the end with my hair, is up to me  I asked for opinions, not validation. Just like Iris did here. umm actually technically she didn't ask for anybody's opinion, he gave it without being asked. It doesn't really matter in the end because Iris did ask him for clarification but it kinda bothers me that everyone forgot this. Anyway i can still not understand people who say things like "short hair is ugly". Why be unnecessarily mean when the world is full of crap anyway? You can just say "i wouldn't do it for myself" or "i personally don't like it" but saying things like that is just beyond my understanding. Any kind of remark towards anyone's appearance. And i am not saying i'm not guilty of it sometimes but i do think the world would be a better place if we all learned to be a bit nicer and less judgmental sometimes First it was about different opinions being stated now it's about what words are being used.  Lol. I think dr_nick didn't mean anything bad or mean with what he said about tattoos. It's what he thinks in general and it doesn't matter who it is on. And about "ugly short hair". I took none offence at all. It doesn't mean that their opinion automatically means that I am ugly. It just means that that haircut is not appealing to them and that's OK. Sometimes I care about opinions, sometimes I don't, sometimes I choose which to care about. Most of the time I do what most people don't think I should, just because it makes me more satisfied with that choice then. Lol. |
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Post by buffy on Apr 17, 2018 5:40:43 GMT
He doesn't like it that I get too many tattoos .... Oh well, you can do a compromise with him maybe  Like ...? 🤔 |
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Post by buffy on Apr 17, 2018 5:42:14 GMT
😕
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Post by Dani on Apr 17, 2018 5:49:34 GMT
Why sad?  It’s good that you care about Sven’s opinion but if that’s not convincing enough and doesn’t change your mind, then what’s there left to do? Go get it!!!  |
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Post by purple18 on Apr 17, 2018 6:50:33 GMT
umm actually technically she didn't ask for anybody's opinion, he gave it without being asked. It doesn't really matter in the end because Iris did ask him for clarification but it kinda bothers me that everyone forgot this. Anyway i can still not understand people who say things like "short hair is ugly". Why be unnecessarily mean when the world is full of crap anyway? You can just say "i wouldn't do it for myself" or "i personally don't like it" but saying things like that is just beyond my understanding. Any kind of remark towards anyone's appearance. And i am not saying i'm not guilty of it sometimes but i do think the world would be a better place if we all learned to be a bit nicer and less judgmental sometimes First it was about different opinions being stated now it's about what words are being used. Lol. I think dr_nick didn't mean anything bad or mean with what he said about tattoos. It's what he thinks in general and it doesn't matter who it is on. And about "ugly short hair". I took none offence at all. It doesn't mean that their opinion automatically means that I am ugly. It just means that that haircut is not appealing to them and that's OK. Sometimes I care about opinions, sometimes I don't, sometimes I choose which to care about. Most of the time I do what most people don't think I should, just because it makes me more satisfied with that choice then. Lol. you forgot that i'm a lawyer. What words are used ALWAYS matters Well as i said, you do you i just choose not to express my opinion too harshly when it comes to personal preference in appearance because i feel like i have no right to say this or that is ugly or anything. I wouldn't feel offended either if someone told me not to cut my hair because short hair is ugly but i sure as hell would think that's not very nice to say. But that's just me 🤷🏼♀️ |
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Post by Dani on Apr 17, 2018 8:25:05 GMT
First it was about different opinions being stated now it's about what words are being used. Lol. I think dr_nick didn't mean anything bad or mean with what he said about tattoos. It's what he thinks in general and it doesn't matter who it is on. And about "ugly short hair". I took none offence at all. It doesn't mean that their opinion automatically means that I am ugly. It just means that that haircut is not appealing to them and that's OK. Sometimes I care about opinions, sometimes I don't, sometimes I choose which to care about. Most of the time I do what most people don't think I should, just because it makes me more satisfied with that choice then. Lol. you forgot that i'm a lawyer. What words are used ALWAYS matters Well as i said, you do you i just choose not to express my opinion too harshly when it comes to personal preference in appearance because i feel like i have no right to say this or that is ugly or anything. I wouldn't feel offended either if someone told me not to cut my hair because short hair is ugly but i sure as hell would think that's not very nice to say. But that's just me 🤷🏼♀️ Yeah, and that's completely OK |
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Post by buffy on Apr 17, 2018 8:26:59 GMT
Why sad? It’s good that you care about Sven’s opinion but if that’s not convincing enough and doesn’t change your mind, then what’s there left to do? Go get it!!! Seems like I started this huge discussion ... Well I haven't made up my mind yet myself so ... I suck at making decisions ... 😞 |
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Post by Dani on Apr 17, 2018 8:39:32 GMT
Why sad? It’s good that you care about Sven’s opinion but if that’s not convincing enough and doesn’t change your mind, then what’s there left to do? Go get it!!! Seems like I started this huge discussion ... Well I haven't made up my mind yet myself so ... I suck at making decisions ... 😞 Discussions are good, so don’t worry Okay, so give it a little time then. Once you’ve made up your mind you won’t feel any doubt. |
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Post by heehawes on Apr 17, 2018 8:54:00 GMT
you forgot that i'm a lawyer. What words are used ALWAYS matters Well as i said, you do you i just choose not to express my opinion too harshly when it comes to personal preference in appearance because i feel like i have no right to say this or that is ugly or anything. I wouldn't feel offended either if someone told me not to cut my hair because short hair is ugly but i sure as hell would think that's not very nice to say. But that's just me 🤷🏼♀️ Yeah, and that's completely OK I agree with Diana about being nice, in general. Wording something in a positive way when possible... Also when it’s somebody you don’t know so well. Using the hair example, instead of saying “short hair is ugly, don’t cut your hair short”, you could say something nice “I’m not sure I would do that If I were you, your hair is so nice as is” However, some closer friends, I think want straight up honesty. Where I would feel comfortable saying it as it is. “I don’t think you should do it” “Why not?” “I dont think short hair like that looks good. Don’t do it” I don’t know..... I think you gotta take in to consideration who you are talking to in general w/ anything you say. |
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Post by heehawes on Apr 17, 2018 8:57:22 GMT
Why sad? It’s good that you care about Sven’s opinion but if that’s not convincing enough and doesn’t change your mind, then what’s there left to do? Go get it!!! Seems like I started this huge discussion ... Well I haven't made up my mind yet myself so ... I suck at making decisions ... 😞 I think..... If you haven’t made a decision yet, don’t force yourself to try and find an answer. Tattoos are permanent so if you aren’t 100% sure, wait. Take your time and see if you really want it or not. Sven is just being honest w/ his opinions w/ you. But I know at the end of the day, no matter what you do, you will always be beautiful to him and he will always love you no matter what. ❤️ |
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Post by Dani on Apr 17, 2018 8:59:48 GMT
Yeah, and that's completely OK I agree with Diana about being nice, in general. Wording something in a positive way when possible... Also when it’s somebody you don’t know so well. Using the hair example, instead of saying “short hair is ugly, don’t cut your hair short”, you could say something nice “I’m not sure I would do that If I were you, your hair is so nice as is” However, some closer friends, I think want straight up honesty. Where I would feel comfortable saying it as it is. “I don’t think you should do it” “Why not?” “I dont think short hair like that looks good. Don’t do it” I don’t know..... I think you gotta take in to consideration who you are talking to in general w/ anything you say. Who doesn’t agree about being nice lol? Whatever, I’m over this discussion. |
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Post by heehawes on Apr 17, 2018 9:07:33 GMT
I agree with Diana about being nice, in general. Wording something in a positive way when possible... Also when it’s somebody you don’t know so well. Using the hair example, instead of saying “short hair is ugly, don’t cut your hair short”, you could say something nice “I’m not sure I would do that If I were you, your hair is so nice as is” However, some closer friends, I think want straight up honesty. Where I would feel comfortable saying it as it is. “I don’t think you should do it” “Why not?” “I dont think short hair like that looks good. Don’t do it” I don’t know..... I think you gotta take in to consideration who you are talking to in general w/ anything you say. Who doesn’t agree about being nice lol? Whatever, I’m over this discussion. I think everybody agrees.... |
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Post by heehawes on Apr 17, 2018 9:13:16 GMT
Every single one of us right now....  |
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Post by Dani on Apr 17, 2018 9:22:35 GMT
Who doesn’t agree about being nice lol? Whatever, I’m over this discussion. I think everybody agrees.... Yeah the discussion was about dr_nick stating his opinion about tattoos and not lying about what he thinks just to make Iris happy. I mentioned an example myself that I had from the same day and now it’s down on word detail. Yeah it was one of my closest co workers that said that. The point that I tried to make with that is that I’d rather have people around me who say what they think about something I ask than trying to put glitter on their words to make it sound less of an opinion. I guess it’s because I work the same way and we’re all different which is fine. In the end no one wants to hurt or be mean to anyone. It’s not about that. But I’m still 110% with dr_nick on this one. Don’t ask me anything if you’re not ready for an honest opinion from me using my words and the vocabulary I can choose from when I’m being asked. Of course there are rude ways to say things also, this is not what I’m encouraging either. But none of these examples are rude in the way I see it. Also, being straight up honest without the glitter is one of the things I appreciate most with my friends and they about me too. |
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Post by heehawes on Apr 17, 2018 9:44:12 GMT
I think everybody agrees.... Yeah the discussion was about dr_nick stating his opinion about tattoos and not lying about what he thinks just to make Iris happy. I mentioned an example myself that I had from the same day and now it’s down on word detail. Yeah it was one of my closest co workers that said that. The point that I tried to make with that is that I’d rather have people around me who say what they think about something I ask than trying to put glitter on their words to make it sound less of an opinion. I guess it’s because I work the same way and we’re all different which is fine. In the end no one wants to hurt or be mean to anyone. It’s not about that. But I’m still 110% with dr_nick on this one. Don’t ask me anything if you’re not ready for an honest opinion from me using my words and the vocabulary I can choose from when I’m being asked. Of course there are rude ways to say things also, this is not what I’m encouraging either. But none of these examples are rude in the way I see it. Also, being straight up honest without the glitter is one of the things I appreciate most with my friends and they about me too. I like honesty. I jumped into a conversation without reading the whole thing, and was just giving generalizations about interactions w/ people I know well vs. people I don’t know. But yah, in general I’d take honesty. Its like in one of the other threads, I mentioned my coworker Larry, saying “I’m not going to give my opinion unless you ask for it” and then when asked he 100% tells the brutally honest truth. I admire that about him, I admire that about anybody who can speak their mind (you all included) |
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I asked for opinions, not validation. Just like Iris did here. 
Lol. 
