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Post by Dani on Oct 17, 2019 8:42:57 GMT
You sure you’re still not drunk?   I mean..... quite possibly 😬 I haven't attempted to stand up yet sooo 🤷♀️🤣 Wait until 12/1 pm That's when it usually hits. |
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Post by heehawes on Oct 18, 2019 13:01:32 GMT
Feeling like I might be emotional today. I’m not yet, But certain things are making me feel like I might be. Haha. I don’t think any of that makes sense, But I’m seeing certain words and phrases and photos and I’m like “man.... I’m surprised that’s not making me cry” Or worried that like, the wind might blow wrong and I’ll lose it. I dunno know what any of that means. Cause like - I’m fine at the moment, And I’ll probably stay fine, But I’m also kinda wondering why I’m fine Blah blah blah blah blah. Also it’s cold. I’m tired of this cold.  |
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Post by heehawes on Oct 18, 2019 20:39:04 GMT
Damnit damnit damnit damnit
Not a good day.
😰😫
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Post by Kimpie on Oct 18, 2019 20:44:46 GMT
Damnit damnit damnit damnit Not a good day. 😰😫 Hang on! It's not always easy but always better days to come, I hope. Take care! |
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Post by heehawes on Oct 18, 2019 21:12:41 GMT
Damnit damnit damnit damnit Not a good day. 😰😫 Hang on! It's not always easy but always better days to come, I hope. Take care! Thanks. ❤️ |
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Post by heehawes on Oct 21, 2019 12:39:02 GMT
type, delete, type, delete....
I like the old school way.
Write a couple lines on paper, get frustrated, crumple it up and throw it across the room to a larger pile.
It’s more dramatic.
And it leaves physical evidence.
Sometimes that’s what you need, a reminder of it all.
A sign of your failed work.
Bleh.
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Post by Dani on Oct 21, 2019 17:35:07 GMT
I've a dialogue with my self daily. Does anyone else have that? It's not like I'm talking to "myself" but it's more like I'm thinking and reflecting on why I'm thinking some stuff, why I'm feeling some stuff, why I'm not feeling some stuff, and a gazillion more things. I've always been learning about myself and always been transparent to myself... like I know a lot of people lie to themselves or try to avoid to feel or think some things, but I never learnt how to do that. I know I can procrastinate but at the end I still know what I need to do and there's no running from that. I also think back on this "connection" I had/have with myself and how this has changed (in to something better), but it at the same time makes me think of myself as a complicated person. Some would say I am the opposite, but to me within myself I am very complicated. Or lets say not predictable. Like there's no pattern in why or who or when I think or do or want something, it's just in the moment. From day to day. I think I need help to be less in the moment. Like zoom out a little bit out of this and look up. Or should I just go on like the way I always been and hope for the best for me? I have no idea.
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Post by Dani on Oct 21, 2019 20:24:41 GMT
I've a dialogue with my self daily. Does anyone else have that? It's not like I'm talking to "myself" but it's more like I'm thinking and reflecting on why I'm thinking some stuff, why I'm feeling some stuff, why I'm not feeling some stuff, and a gazillion more things. I've always been learning about myself and always been transparent to myself... like I know a lot of people lie to themselves or try to avoid to feel or think some things, but I never learnt how to do that. I know I can procrastinate but at the end I still know what I need to do and there's no running from that. I also think back on this "connection" I had/have with myself and how this has changed (in to something better), but it at the same time makes me think of myself as a complicated person. Some would say I am the opposite, but to me within myself I am very complicated. Or lets say not predictable. Like there's no pattern in why or who or when I think or do or want something, it's just in the moment. From day to day. I think I need help to be less in the moment. Like zoom out a little bit out of this and look up. Or should I just go on like the way I always been and hope for the best for me? I have no idea. Omg I just realized this is the "grown up" trap, isn't it?  Fluff that I'm here to be happy not pay pills eat shit and die byeeee |
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Post by heehawes on Oct 21, 2019 20:28:57 GMT
I've a dialogue with my self daily. Does anyone else have that? It's not like I'm talking to "myself" but it's more like I'm thinking and reflecting on why I'm thinking some stuff, why I'm feeling some stuff, why I'm not feeling some stuff, and a gazillion more things. I've always been learning about myself and always been transparent to myself... like I know a lot of people lie to themselves or try to avoid to feel or think some things, but I never learnt how to do that. I know I can procrastinate but at the end I still know what I need to do and there's no running from that. I also think back on this "connection" I had/have with myself and how this has changed (in to something better), but it at the same time makes me think of myself as a complicated person. Some would say I am the opposite, but to me within myself I am very complicated. Or lets say not predictable. Like there's no pattern in why or who or when I think or do or want something, it's just in the moment. From day to day. I think I need help to be less in the moment. Like zoom out a little bit out of this and look up. Or should I just go on like the way I always been and hope for the best for me? I have no idea. Patterns are boring and repetitive anyway - its good that you’re not very predictable #YOLNLive your life, feel every moment, the way you do. Your inner reflections are good. Talk to yourself, But don’t let you get in the way of being you. I talk to myself all the time, I wonder if mine is helpful. It probably is overall... 🤷🏻♀️ But sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. |
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Post by Dani on Oct 21, 2019 20:41:23 GMT
Patterns are boring and repetitive. Live your life, feel every moment, the way you do. Your inner reflections are good. Talk to yourself, But don’t let you get in the way of being you. I don't think there's a risk of any change even if I'd want to. That good I know myself. The only thing that changes with me is if I want to have long hair or short hair (I am never happy with one of them for too long) and also how I feel within. Sometimes I feel super girly sometimes not at all. And I dress after what I feel like. And it has nothing to do with my environmentl, so it's all from within. And tbh it's the only constant change I still feel about myself. I don't think anything else is fortunate to be changed I think I just have to realize I'm some kind of hippie pretty much. I FEAR what I'd call "plain" life with routines, bills, same work routines and all that. It would KILL me to have a life like that. I envy people that are happy with one same thing for 100 years. I am a constant in changing in all kinds of ways in what I like, do, want, and all that. And tbh I think I'm pretty scared of living life in any other way than most people do, cause there are too few examples of that. I donno if I make any sense at all. I still want kids and a life long lasting relationship and a job I love, but at the same time I don't want to feel that boring, full of routines kind of life and I think I'm scared of actually trying so hard to like it that I end up liking it but it's not really what I want ... SEE I'M COMPLICATED |
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Post by Kimpie on Oct 21, 2019 20:46:53 GMT
Patterns are boring and repetitive. Live your life, feel every moment, the way you do. Your inner reflections are good. Talk to yourself, But don’t let you get in the way of being you. I don't think there's a risk of any change even if I'd want to. That good I know myself. The only thing that changes with me is if I want to have long hair or short hair (I am never happy with one of them for too long) and also how I feel within. Sometimes I feel super girly sometimes not at all. And I dress after what I feel like. And it has nothing to do with my environmentl, so it's all from within. And tbh it's the only constant change I still feel about myself. I don't think anything else is fortunate to be changed I think I just have to realize I'm some kind of hippie pretty much. I FEAR what I'd call "plain" life with routines, bills, same work routines and all that. It would KILL me to have a life like that. I envy people that are happy with one same thing for 100 years. I am a constant in changing in all kinds of ways in what I like, do, want, and all that. And tbh I think I'm pretty scared of living life in any other way than most people do, cause there are too few examples of that. I donno if I make any sense at all. I still want kids and a life long lasting relationship and a job I love, but at the same time I don't want to feel that boring, full of routines kind of life and I think I'm scared of actually trying so hard to like it that I end up liking it but it's not really what I want ... SEE I'M COMPLICATED Haha, I got it the other way last summer...what if I had done that, would I be happier now? I am in that routine...I'm 37 and in a 18 year long relationship...don't get me wrong I love this man and my two adorable kids...but then I see people like you travelling the world without anyone to explain to what you're doing. I sometimes wonder what if I got no kids...I probably saw half of the world by now... And these days...it's just fucking work...but that's a whole different thing...I was happy in my job but some people ruining it now. |
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Post by Dani on Oct 21, 2019 20:52:18 GMT
I don't think there's a risk of any change even if I'd want to. That good I know myself. The only thing that changes with me is if I want to have long hair or short hair (I am never happy with one of them for too long) and also how I feel within. Sometimes I feel super girly sometimes not at all. And I dress after what I feel like. And it has nothing to do with my environmentl, so it's all from within. And tbh it's the only constant change I still feel about myself. I don't think anything else is fortunate to be changed I think I just have to realize I'm some kind of hippie pretty much. I FEAR what I'd call "plain" life with routines, bills, same work routines and all that. It would KILL me to have a life like that. I envy people that are happy with one same thing for 100 years. I am a constant in changing in all kinds of ways in what I like, do, want, and all that. And tbh I think I'm pretty scared of living life in any other way than most people do, cause there are too few examples of that. I donno if I make any sense at all. I still want kids and a life long lasting relationship and a job I love, but at the same time I don't want to feel that boring, full of routines kind of life and I think I'm scared of actually trying so hard to like it that I end up liking it but it's not really what I want ... SEE I'M COMPLICATED Haha, I got it the other way last summer...what if I had done that, would I be happier now? I am in that routine...I'm 37 and in a 18 year long relationship...don't get me wrong I love this man and my two adorable kids...but then I see people like you travelling the world without anyone to explain to what you're doing. I sometimes wonder what if I got no kids...I probably saw half of the world by now... And these days...it's just fucking work...but that's a whole different thing...I was happy in my job but some people ruining it now. OMG I can't wait to have kids and travel and bring them with me everywhere I go!!!! You can do that  |
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Post by Kimpie on Oct 21, 2019 20:54:40 GMT
Haha, I got it the other way last summer...what if I had done that, would I be happier now? I am in that routine...I'm 37 and in a 18 year long relationship...don't get me wrong I love this man and my two adorable kids...but then I see people like you travelling the world without anyone to explain to what you're doing. I sometimes wonder what if I got no kids...I probably saw half of the world by now... And these days...it's just fucking work...but that's a whole different thing...I was happy in my job but some people ruining it now. OMG I can't wait to have kids and travel and bring them with me everywhere I go!!!! You can do that There been some troubles after birth of my son and he couldn't travel by plane...and I have a husband who thinks he is still too little to travel long distances...I told him: come on, everyone does...need to convince him, really. |
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Post by heehawes on Oct 21, 2019 20:57:48 GMT
Patterns are boring and repetitive. Live your life, feel every moment, the way you do. Your inner reflections are good. Talk to yourself, But don’t let you get in the way of being you. I don't think there's a risk of any change even if I'd want to. That good I know myself. The only thing that changes with me is if I want to have long hair or short hair (I am never happy with one of them for too long) and also how I feel within. Sometimes I feel super girly sometimes not at all. And I dress after what I feel like. And it has nothing to do with my environmentl, so it's all from within. And tbh it's the only constant change I still feel about myself. I don't think anything else is fortunate to be changed I think I just have to realize I'm some kind of hippie pretty much. I FEAR what I'd call "plain" life with routines, bills, same work routines and all that. It would KILL me to have a life like that. I envy people that are happy with one same thing for 100 years. I am a constant in changing in all kinds of ways in what I like, do, want, and all that. And tbh I think I'm pretty scared of living life in any other way than most people do, cause there are too few examples of that. I donno if I make any sense at all. I still want kids and a life long lasting relationship and a job I love, but at the same time I don't want to feel that boring, full of routines kind of life and I think I'm scared of actually trying so hard to like it that I end up liking it but it's not really what I want ... SEE I'M COMPLICATED There’s probably a balance somewhere, but I have never managed to find it. to me, it seems like some people are scared of change, so they stick to routine. others are scared of routine, so they are constantly moving - but I guess to an extent, this is their routine, it’s their safe space. I think it benefits everybody to push themselves out past their safe zones from time to time, I never do it, but I probably should.... I am far from an adult. I feel like I’ve failed in many peoples eyes because I haven’t accomplished x y and z at the the same time, we only live now, so the argument can be made to “stick to what works for you”, do what makes you happy See my train of thought makes no sense. but I think there can exist balance somewhere between change and routine and patterns and evolving I think your talks to yourself are you figuring out where your balance is - nobody can tell us where ours is found except ourselves... you will find it. you will get all those things you want. you are not crazy, and your being complicated is not a bad thing. id call you complex before complicated.  |
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Post by Dani on Oct 21, 2019 21:00:24 GMT
OMG I can't wait to have kids and travel and bring them with me everywhere I go!!!! You can do that There been some troubles after birth of my son and he couldn't travel by plane...and I have a husband who thinks he is still too little to travel long distances...I told him: come on, everyone does...need to convince him, really. Your time to travel will come soon if it's not now Hang in there! |
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That's when it usually hits.
