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Post by Fuckingperfect on Apr 1, 2018 20:22:46 GMT
Was recently informed my application regarding permanent disability went through. I have very mixed feelings about this. This wasn't how I imagined my life to become. 😭 Babe. It doesn't change who you are and it can't take any of your dreams away. Remember that ♥ Is it because of you back? I don't even wanna know what different things I'm made of because as it is now it doesn't matter really because I manage social life and work life perfectly - so it feels more than a strength than a weakness. I had lunch with three of my closest colleagues and one of them started talking about ADHD and the two three different sorts of them, or whatever. And I just joked about yeah I probably have a little bit of all of them, and one of them goes, "yeah, but it's most common with xxx". And I'm like, wow okay she agreed, okay, hm, I knew it but anyway, felt just... weird. Is there anyone that doesn't have something? And if it is, that person probably has a boring and rotten soul. Lol. Sorry not meaning to spit on normal people. But what I'm trying to say, you're perfect and don't let anything or anyone make you believe anything else. Thank you sweetie <3 I know it doesn't change who I am, but there's so much stigma around being "disabled" or "uføre" as we say in Norwegian, the word "uføre" has become a term of abuse, and people become suspicious of the ones having invisible disabilities, especially since I'm so young. It just isn't acceptable for young people being ill, or in need of becoming "ufør", unless you have a serious handicap/bodily dysfunction, or have a serious brain damage, or a debilitating mental illness (like schizophrenia or certain personality disorders). My ADHD wasn't "serious enough", neither was my ED, so they refused my application of getting "young benefit", even if I was ill with things before the age of 26 (my disc hernia happened when I was 24), so I have never had the opportunity to earn enough to work my way up, so therefore I was granted minimum wage based on my income I had in 2009; a part time job at the grocery store. There has been an on going debate about this system in the media lately (more say the past 4 years), - targeting the young ones (meaning people under 30 years old) and the current system has been up for discussion multiple times already by the politicians and, saying that something needs to change because people think it is "easy" to get social benefits, like they believe one can just walk up to the counter and claim it without any documentation. Trust me, it is everything but easy, and my illnesses are well documented, I mean, I would get disapproved if my illness wasn't bad enough. There was a long process before I could even send in the application, and I have waited since the end of December last year before I got my final approval. The requirements are for one - everything work-related needs to be tried out through NAV (the name of the social security), and I have been through a lot, and it only made me worse. My dysfunction also has to be as least 50%, which it has been since 2009. And, the process also includes assessments by professionals, my adviser in the system had to get my case approved before she could even go further with my case, and that's the way it should be. Every option has been tried, so there was no other choice for me, otherwise I would end up losing my income permanently within the next two years. They changed the system last year, meaning people under 30 were forced into activities from NAV, and last year I had to participate in several job related courses, but I ended up becoming so ill I had to go inpatient for 3 weeks. People also tend to think we who receive money from NAV become rich (trust me, I am not) I have trouble enough as it is already to make ends meet. The media only fuels up the debate regarding getting disability checks, and the social security system in Norway, and the comments on debates are filled with SO MUCH hate towards people being so unfortunate to end up in this system, and I fear people will think that I am just a lazy piece of shit who refuses to work, and live off the taxes everybody else pays to make this welfare system remain up and running. Sadly some people actually do take advantage of the welfare system, because they are lazy. So therefore, me, and several others, even if we have been approved, we are still the ones who end up with suspicion. There have been cases of serious frauds/scams of social benefits, so bad that certain people got away with several 100k NOK a year because they lied and made up false stories, (mostly frauds of child support money) but thankfully some of them ended up being prosecuted. But that doesn't help at all. It still happens, and I am afraid of telling people I am disabled because I fear they will judge or accuse me for abusing the system, since, after all, I manage to remain functional most of the time, and yes I am able to leave my house and go shopping every now and then, but that doesn't mean I am well.. I promise you, some of the comments on debates are filled with so much hatred towards us, and I should be wise to stay away from reading them. Trust me, I would give anything to be functional again, and be able to work and earn my own money like everybody else. I am very sad this is how things ended for me, I need some time to let this sink in. Luckily it doesn't mean "forever" even if I was granted benefits for 40 years - I am not giving up hope on becoming better. I refuse to live with this pain for the rest of my life. So yes, it is mainly because of my back problems, amongst other things.  Yep, everybody has something they struggle with, and sadly some people push themselves too hard to the point they become ill because of how fucked up the expectations are today about being a superhuman. Sorry about the long text, but thank you for reading. <3 |
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Post by Fuckingperfect on Apr 1, 2018 20:31:35 GMT
Thank you, you are such a sweetheart. ❤️ I'm sorry about my absence from this forum lately, flashbacks have been really bad the past few days. it means a lot to me that you got my back. 💓 Don't be sorry, happen to have bad days, but we just remember to smile anyway❤️ Like I used to say, be badass everyday, don't forget this 💪 Thank you <3 I promise I will continue to be a badass for the rest of my life <3 |
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Post by Fuckingperfect on Apr 1, 2018 20:32:28 GMT
People are believing the joke I made on the fanclub page. I feel so evil.  What joke? :O And where? (a) |
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Post by alrightsir on Apr 1, 2018 20:34:18 GMT
Sometimes it's so hard to let people make mistakes because in no other way they will learn something. And it's hard to see someone not going on a route which he would benefit from so much because of lacking of proactivity and yet-not-aquired tools how to properly manage life.
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Post by cpf on Apr 1, 2018 20:35:37 GMT
People are believing the joke I made on the fanclub page. I feel so evil. Hahaha was that yours? Wished that monopoly one was true tho |
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Post by Fuckingperfect on Apr 1, 2018 20:36:55 GMT
I feel like my brain chemistry is a mess again.  I feel so... void of everything. I feel your pain But things will be better, I promise. ♥ Hang in there ♥ |
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Post by Dani on Apr 1, 2018 20:44:06 GMT
Babe. It doesn't change who you are and it can't take any of your dreams away. Remember that ♥ Is it because of you back? I don't even wanna know what different things I'm made of because as it is now it doesn't matter really because I manage social life and work life perfectly - so it feels more than a strength than a weakness. I had lunch with three of my closest colleagues and one of them started talking about ADHD and the two three different sorts of them, or whatever. And I just joked about yeah I probably have a little bit of all of them, and one of them goes, "yeah, but it's most common with xxx". And I'm like, wow okay she agreed, okay, hm, I knew it but anyway, felt just... weird. Is there anyone that doesn't have something? And if it is, that person probably has a boring and rotten soul. Lol. Sorry not meaning to spit on normal people. But what I'm trying to say, you're perfect and don't let anything or anyone make you believe anything else. Thank you sweetie <3 I know it doesn't change who I am, but there's so much stigma around being "disabled" or "uføre" as we say in Norwegian, the word "uføre" has become a term of abuse, and people become suspicious of the ones having invisible disabilities, especially since I'm so young. It just isn't acceptable for young people being ill, or in need of becoming "ufør", unless you have a serious handicap/bodily dysfunction, or have a serious brain damage, or a debilitating mental illness (like schizophrenia or certain personality disorders). My ADHD wasn't "serious enough", neither was my ED, so they refused my application of getting "young benefit", even if I was ill with things before the age of 26 (my disc hernia happened when I was 24), so I have never had the opportunity to earn enough to work my way up, so therefore I was granted minimum wage based on my income I had in 2009; a part time job at the grocery store. There has been an on going debate about this system in the media lately (more say the past 4 years), - targeting the young ones (meaning people under 30 years old) and the current system has been up for discussion multiple times already by the politicians and, saying that something needs to change because people think it is "easy" to get social benefits, like they believe one can just walk up to the counter and claim it without any documentation. Trust me, it is everything but easy, and my illnesses are well documented, I mean, I would get disapproved if my illness wasn't bad enough. There was a long process before I could even send in the application, and I have waited since the end of December last year before I got my final approval. The requirements are for one - everything work-related needs to be tried out through NAV (the name of the social security), and I have been through a lot, and it only made me worse. My dysfunction also has to be as least 50%, which it has been since 2009. And, the process also includes assessments by professionals, my adviser in the system had to get my case approved before she could even go further with my case, and that's the way it should be. Every option has been tried, so there was no other choice for me, otherwise I would end up losing my income permanently within the next two years. They changed the system last year, meaning people under 30 were forced into activities from NAV, and last year I had to participate in several job related courses, but I ended up becoming so ill I had to go inpatient for 3 weeks. People also tend to think we who receive money from NAV become rich (trust me, I am not) I have trouble enough as it is already to make ends meet. The media only fuels up the debate regarding getting disability checks, and the social security system in Norway, and the comments on debates are filled with SO MUCH hate towards people being so unfortunate to end up in this system, and I fear people will think that I am just a lazy piece of shit who refuses to work, and live off the taxes everybody else pays to make this welfare system remain up and running. Sadly some people actually do take advantage of the welfare system, because they are lazy. So therefore, me, and several others, even if we have been approved, we are still the ones who end up with suspicion. There have been cases of serious frauds/scams of social benefits, so bad that certain people got away with several 100k NOK a year because they lied and made up false stories, (mostly frauds of child support money) but thankfully some of them ended up being prosecuted. But that doesn't help at all. It still happens, and I am afraid of telling people I am disabled because I fear they will judge or accuse me for abusing the system, since, after all, I manage to remain functional most of the time, and yes I am able to leave my house and go shopping every now and then, but that doesn't mean I am well.. I promise you, some of the comments on debates are filled with so much hatred towards us, and I should be wise to stay away from reading them. Trust me, I would give anything to be functional again, and be able to work and earn my own money like everybody else. I am very sad this is how things ended for me, I need some time to let this sink in. Luckily it doesn't mean "forever" even if I was granted benefits for 40 years - I am not giving up hope on becoming better. I refuse to live with this pain for the rest of my life. So yes, it is mainly because of my back problems, amongst other things. Yep, everybody has something they struggle with, and sadly some people push themselves too hard to the point they become ill because of how fucked up the expectations are today about being a superhuman. Sorry about the long text, but thank you for reading. <3 I'm sorry to hear this Maren I don't know what to say really. Same debates are being made over here too about this and frauds. But just try to stay strong and proud in this. You have to. Instead of thinking what people will think about you and your illness, throw it out on them and see what happens and how they react. I definitely don't think you should try to hide in this. I am also a true believer of a life where we all are given different opportunities and conditions and it's up to us to make the best out of it and to find our happiness in this, without comparing us and or lives with anyone else. I don't want you to feel bad but I know it's hard on you, so just try make sure to do more of what makes you happy if you can. Is there another way you could make money if you don't feel it's enough? Any hobbies or similar you could manage?  |
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Post by Dani on Apr 1, 2018 20:44:36 GMT
People are believing the joke I made on the fanclub page. I feel so evil. What joke? :O And where? (a) |
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Post by Dani on Apr 1, 2018 20:47:07 GMT
People are believing the joke I made on the fanclub page. I feel so evil. Hahaha was that yours? Wished that monopoly one was true tho Haha, yah. I made that shit up in 2 minutes with a little help from wine  |
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Post by drnick on Apr 1, 2018 20:47:22 GMT
What joke? :O And where? (a)  |
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Post by Dani on Apr 1, 2018 20:48:58 GMT
Sometimes it's so hard to let people make mistakes because in no other way they will learn something. And it's hard to see someone not going on a route which he would benefit from so much because of lacking of proactivity and yet-not-aquired tools how to properly manage life. I hear ya. What's up? |
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Post by Fuckingperfect on Apr 1, 2018 20:51:01 GMT
What joke? :O And where? (a) LOL !!!  Good one ;D |
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Post by Dani on Apr 1, 2018 20:51:54 GMT
I'll never get how anyone could eat that on April, 1st. Right. I almost didn't post it because it was too obvious it's bullshit |
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Post by Dani on Apr 1, 2018 20:55:34 GMT
People are believing the joke I made on the fanclub page. I feel so evil. Hahaha was that yours? Wished that monopoly one was true tho Haha, yeah. I saw that one - I want it too! |
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Post by Fuckingperfect on Apr 1, 2018 21:12:26 GMT
I'm sorry to hear this Maren I don't know what to say really. Same debates are being made over here too about this and frauds. But just try to stay strong and proud in this. You have to. Instead of thinking what people will think about you and your illness, throw it out on them and see what happens and how they react. I definitely don't think you should try to hide in this. I am also a true believer of a life where we all are given different opportunities and conditions and it's up to us to make the best out of it and to find our happiness in this, without comparing us and or lives with anyone else. I don't want you to feel bad but I know it's hard on you, so just try make sure to do more of what makes you happy if you can. Is there another way you could make money if you don't feel it's enough? Any hobbies or similar you could manage? I will, I have no other choice.. and I refuse to let the nasty comments or narrow minded people get under my skin. I use to say I wish people would walk in my shoes for one day, I am sure they will think differently after experiencing how my life is. And it would certainly make them shut up. I actually can work while I receive benefits, but only to a certain degree. Not sure how much, but enough to make things go around - though that again depends on my body cooperating with me, so as of today, that is unfortunately not an option.. I plan on complaining on the refusal of the young benefit though, because I believe they didn't see the whole picture when they made the conclusion - and it is also common to get rejected the first time (according to the people I've spoken with, but also lawyers are saying it does help to complain). So my plan now is to ask my advisor for insight in the documents about me, to see whether or not something of importance regarding my health was left out, and if necessary - I might go so far and seek advice of a lawyer because since I'm on minimum wage, I can get a lawyer to look at my case for free. I find very much happiness in playing volleyball, so that's something I plan to continue with, and there's also an organisation here (which I play volleyball for), who offers a variety of sports and other social activities, I just need to get over my social anxiety since I haven't met their leaders for a looong time. I used to be active in the organisation in terms of participating in their activities, but I've only been active in periods, and when being absent for so long makes it harder to come back.... so that's something I'm looking forward to after the holidays. I need to challenge myself, I know it's good for me. I used to volunteer in a support group for people with ED for 5 years, and I miss being active that way, so yes, I do have plans to keep myself busy and contribute with the things I can. |
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